South-Indian In Gujarat.

The content below is purely for fun and humour, please save the Hate for ATMs. 😀

Much before I landed there, I was warned. Informed rather, of the jokes I should expect as a South-Indian In North.

Firstly, How is Gujarat North? Please explain. *rolls eyes*

• Did you know how much confusion the letter “H” creates up there? It came as one of the biggest shocks to me that the entire country above Karnataka and Andhra pronounces it as “Aechh”. Why would you do that? You guys don’t say Orse for Horse, then why do you not blow the air out while saying “H”? Go ahead and do it man, It’s fun. Say “Hhech” be cool.

• How the hell is it, “driving” a two-wheeler? I would’ve got whacked on my knuckles by my 8th grade English teacher if I uttered that sentence even in my dreams.

• They think all South-Indians are disgusting eaters. FYI we all don’t take rice in our palms, roll them into a ball and then stuff them in our mouths. Eating with hands is actually easier, you really should try it. It’s okay to hold rotis in your hand, but rice is a No-No. WHYYY?

• Don’t even dream about picking up girls in public places, there. You will be “bhaiya“-zoned even before you say Hi. What is with everyone calling everyone their brother and sister, there? They say, it’s a way of giving respect. Frankly speaking, I’ve never felt more offended when I was called “Maeryet Ben“.

• Just because I’m from Karnataka, I’m a “Kannad”apparently. Kannad is neither a language nor a person. And why is it so Hard to accept that I am from Karnataka but I speak Tamil. Tamil is a Language and Karnataka is a place, you know?

• When you can eat five rotis, Why can’t I eat a bowl of rice? Don’t invite me for lunch and serve me rotis and Kheer (your super sweet dal), behenji. I need my daily dose of starch, deal with it.

• You will never find anyone ‘single’ there. One half of the population is already engaged (probably since birth) and the other half is on a hunt for a match for their betas and babys.

• Jokes aside, I really should appreciate the auto guys up there. Hats off to them! Auto-drivers in Bangalore are like cats. If you ask them “M.G Road?” He will stop, think for a minute (analyzing if we’re worth his time) and then drive off (Proudly with his tail pointing upward). It’s either this or WONEandHALF. But the drivers up there are like Dogs (So happy to see you, sometimes you may not even be it’s owner). They will take you even to the next city, if that’s where you’re going.